January 31, 2010

It's been a while since I last posted something. But alas I am back. Still the same old me. Still trying to find myself and figure out what the purpose in life is. Serious stuff, isn't it? It's a new year, and since the last time I posted, so much has happened, but nothing that I care to write about. So with this new year, I, like any other person, have wishes for a productive and successful new year with new beginnings, and following through with goals, etc.

Am I being the pessimist if I don't look forward to it? To say that I know every year we set goals for ourselves, that we never meet. Well, I'm not going to be such the pessimist. I look forward to this year of 2010. Who knew this year would actually come? When I was young, I figured that by this time, we'd be flying around the skies in Jetson like car-ships. But I haven't come across anything like that. I'm still driving an automobile, on the ground, and I haven't traveled to outer space yet.

But I'm getting older - and as much as I like to say I am of the group of women that cherish aging gracefully, it's hard to deal with. In a society, where everyone values youth over age and wisdom, I feel even older. But I look young - that makes me feel good. But why should it? Even that sentiment sheds light on how this culture pervades the inner recesses of my soul, and of how I view myself. If I looked my age, would that be a bad thing? No, intellectually it should not. But still I am glad I look younger.

I thought that by this age I would be married with kids and living in a house with a white picket fence, and that my neighbor would be my childhood best friend. Even she is married now and has a daughter. I wonder, wonder, wonder when that will happen for me. There are so many people who are married and have children. I'm waiting for my time.

I'm a grumpster. I sometimes act like an old woman. I have an old soul. I should have been born in another era. Maybe that's why sometimes I feel like I don't fit in. I like the slow pace of life. Everything today is so hurried. What for? What is everyone in such a hurry for? Where are they trying to get to?

Work, work is over-rated I tell you. I don't want to work my whole life for someone else. This can't be all there is to life. What is the secret? The secret to living a fulfilling life with love, positivity, energy, and integrity? I suppose I'm working on that. I'm trying to live my life in such a manner. And despite me calling this blog the grumpster girl's blog, I'm an optimist at heart. Deep down - I choose the positive over the negative. There's too much negative in this world. And life is too short. I'm grumpy sure - but don't confuse that with being negative. I keep it real. I don't fake the funk.

Will this year be the year I meet my soul-mate? Ah, for in the end, grumpster girl is a hopeless romantic who longs for love, to love, and to be loved. And that is something I will never give up on.