Soul Mate

Again I wonder where you are. I wonder if you hear my soul calling out to yours. I'm ready. I think I'm ready to meet you. To fall in love. I look forward to it. I believe in it. I have to believe. There's no other way. In a world where so many women have lost faith in men. Men are dogs, etc, etc. I still have faith. I believe dreams do come true. And if dreams are all I have - so be it.

Love Takes Time

I guess love takes time. I got my dream job and now I'm focused on love. Still doing the experiment of putting my positive thoughts out there into the universe. It worked with my job, and now I'm hoping it will work in the love arena. Of course there is a guy I'm thinking of in particular. I want to be careful not to get caught up in the idea of love - I've done that before. There's no hurry when it comes to love, when it comes to my soul-mate. I still call out to him. That is my soul calls out to him. I hope he feels it. And I patiently wait. And in the meantime focus on myself - do the things that make me happy. Take care of myself. Yes, sometimes it gets hard. I think - what's wrong with me? I know I'm the real deal. Just want someone who is also the real deal. Someone who can be my best friend. My partner in life.

Back to Love

Hard as I try, I always keep coming back to love. I say I'll focus on my career, on my writing, and I won't think about love. I don't need love. I can live solo the rest of my life. And bam, it hits me in the head - I can't escape love and my yearning for it. That yearning for my soul-mate. I dream of him. I dream of his face, his eyes, his hair, his nose, his smile, his arms, his hands, his legs, his feet. I dream of him. I do. I do. I do. I try not to, really I do. But it's hopeless. I am a hopeless romantic. And so what's a girl to do? Do I even know what love is? Do I?

Dream Job Comes True

Several weeks ago I blogged about my dream job. I asked the universe for it - I'm pretty sure I did. Part of this ongoing experiment. This experiment of my life. And so I was humbled when I got the offer for my dream job. I couldn't believe it and yet I kept thanking the Divine for it. I smiled the biggest smile in a long long time. My dreams were coming true. How amazing is that feeling? To know something great can happen to you. It's liberating, empowering, and yet humbling at the same time.

I don't really know what to say. Like I'm at a loss for words. Or maybe I'm just tripping out right now. Something I tend to do a lot. Being the daydreamer that I am. I trip out on life. And mind you I still don't get it.

But back to being astonished, and most of all thankful for my dream job coming true. I feel I am very lucky. I'm a very lucky gal. And for that I am thankful. Can one's positivity, energy field, and all that good stuff really protect the person and allow her to shine despite negativities that might be around her? I wonder... Could positivity be the answer? Or am I just tripping out right now?

Who Am I

What do I really want in life? Am I kidding myself? Am I fooling myself? Who am I? Sometimes I don't even know. Sometimes I don't know where I'm headed. Sometimes it's a burden to think so much. One of my friends said that to me. He knows because he's similar to me in that way. We think too much. Sometimes I envy people who don't think so much. Or at least that's what I think of them. I'm always thinking of something. It's an effort to not think. Maybe I'm so far away from the Buddhist peace of mind because of this. Who knows? Sometimes I just don't know anything. Sometimes I think of my future and don't know what to think. I have a plan, an idea of the way I'd like things to be -- but experience has taught me that life never goes the way you planned. But what about all that visualization? Doesn't that make my dreams come true? Or is it that my dreams come true in a way I didn't visualize?

Enough with this post already -- I'm thinking way too much for a beautiful Sunday morning!

Am I Afraid of Success

Since I'm being honest with myself - could that be the hold up? Have I been afraid of success all this time? Perhaps so. B. Maurice has believed that maybe she's not good enough to be successful. What would I do? Could I sustain it? Would people find out that I'm really not that good? What would I do with all that money? Would I get lost?

Hey - I'm tired of fearing success. I deserve it. And there's no reason why I can't have it. It all starts with me. So my experiment is not just about love and attracting my soul mate. It's also about me working in my dream job. I am visualizing it more and more these days. I can almost taste it. I feel like I belong there. I want to go back. Want to go back to that profession that made me go to law school. That was the only reason I went to law school. That's part of my purpose here on earth. And I'm good at it too. I'm damn good at it.

I miss the traveling that I used to do. I started to think it was only for the rich. But why can't I be the rich? Why do I always place limitations on my dreams? I miss traveling the world. There's so much more to see, to explore. So many more cultures to observe and admire. So many more places to venture to. A part of my soul is nomadic. And I can run, but can't hide from my true nature. I'm a world explorer. Always have been, always will be. I'm going on a trip this year. No more question about it. I'm going to immerse myself in a culture and remind myself that there's so much more to this world than the city of Los Angeles. Don't get me wrong, I love my city. But I love the world too. I love the peoples of the world. I love humanity. I love the connection that we human beings have, whether we are from the Middle East, Africa, Asia, Europe, etc. I love that we are all basically the same.

Thank You to My Niece

Thank you niece.
Little one.
Loved one.
You teach me how to be a princess.
You teach me, you remind me it's okay to feel beautiful.
When you glow and radiate with that confidence
knowing you're cherished,
you remind me how important love is.
How love's contagious.
That love gives you the wings
you need to fly in this world.

Thank you for teaching me
it's okay to be beautiful.
To be a princess.